Saved!

But who is the savior?

Do you remember that movie?

During my spiritual journey, I have struggled with what I knew of spirituality, religion, and my life path. I’m gay, in the middle of a divorce, was in an open relationship, and partook/enabled drugs. Am I damned?

The protagonist of the movie, her name is Mary (fitting?), and you follow her own journey of premarital sex, to “save” her gay boyfriend, which leads to pregnancy, thus having her question her own faith.

Now, I’m not pregnant, or religious, or was spiritual prior to this awakening. But the struggle is real, as they say. As I look around me, many seem to be struggling with their faith as the world devolves into chaos and fear that bombards us on the news, online, from friends and family. 

As you watch Mary’s story unfold, she starts to distance and is then ostracized from her friends, The [Christian] Jewels, because her boyfriend was sent to a “school” due to being found out by his parents, and Mary questioning whether Jesus really did mean that homosexuals should be “damned.” In her solitude, other “outcasts” (I prefer like-minded), Cassandra and Roland help her hide her pregnancy from the school and her mom. 

In the months to come, Mary starts to view the world and faith through a different lens. I have found myself looking inward for the answers that I have struggled with. I believe it was in Luke, Jesus said, “The kingdom of heaven is within you.” And I remember there being lots of stuff about love; in how we act, how we respond to negativity, in our way of being. As Mary moves through her pregnancy she sees this and begins to grow inner strength in her faith (I could see the pregnancy as a symbol of her spiritualism under temperance — her hiding it, but rejoicing in the connection, this being an example of balance. Maybe just me.) 

I believe that we are all God’s children. Heaven and hell… ? I don’t know that it’s a thing. I believe that one day, a time?, we all return. The only evil one can commit would be doing or causing harm to any of god’s creations. And of course, placing anyone before the Highest. 

Side note: Nature shows “good” and “bad,” there is a cycle, it is the laws of the universe. I believe it is the intent in which we hold before committing to an action that matters. Karma is the cause and effect, Newton’s law: every action has an equal and opposite reaction. What we put out, comes back., and it ripples (visualize a stone being tossed into a pond).

At the end of Saved!, Mary keeps her baby (spirituality), and her relationship with her mom is better than it was before. You see at the end of the movie how her struggle with her faith and teen pregnancy has a positive impact on her environment around her. Her mom is her mom, not a friend. The Pastor finally grows some balls and makes a move on her mom instead of being afraid of what others may think. Hilary Faye stops being a bitch, and the Jewels (the Mean Girls) breaks up. 

Ironic for me that the screen writer grew up in Thousand Oaks and went to Oaks Christian, I grew up and currently live in the same county. This idle thought of Saved! that strayed across my mind, lead me to this profound realizations in my faith and where I stand and how I want to proceed moving forward. I choose peace. And that will be exemplified through acceptance, compassion, and love; for myself, my neighbors, and my enemies (I don’t think I have those, but I want to cover all my bases.).

Let me know your thoughts, if you have any. I hope this brings you some of your own epiphanies. Peace and Love.