Communication should be balanced. And by balanced I don’t mean, taking turns I mean in exchanging of the same energy. Misunderstanding is the imbalance, understanding and responding appropriately is the balance. This could be said about other words that I would like to explore as I continue my journey into the language that structures our systems in this world.
When I think of communication, I think of clear communication. Through childhood into adulthood I’ve often thought that my ability to misunderstand was all my fault which fed my insecurities of low self-worth. Which also is why I overexplain or I talk too much. And in my journey of self love, I thought that people purposefully misunderstand me and it’s because they’re threatened by the truth that I see.
In the 40 years I’ve grown it’s been my mission it to speak clearly so as not to misunderstand and not to make assumptions as I’ve noticed that most don’t speak clearly, this developed my people pleasing habit with also added to my low self worth. My communication has only gotten more clear and more concise though my confidence in my intelligence never wavered as I learned to read body language and situations quicker and more clear than most as a defense mechanism. But don’t be misinformed. Clear Concise Communication is not a sentence. There needs to be an algorithm or step-by-step prompt in what is being communicated.
In my youth, I assumed one thing and the person who communicated to me assumed another. These are examples of two different individuals with two different life experiences setting expectations on what’s being communicated therefore misunderstandings, therefore anger, sadness, strife, division. And in that division miscommunication starts to grow and seed and sow discord.
In the different facets of my life today, I’ve recently stepped into my self-worth and self-love. I no longer ask for permission. I tell people what I want. Make no mistakes, I’m not demanding it, and it is received that I’m frustrated or angry, when I feel no such thing. I realized that they see me as I was and not who I’ve become. I’ve noticed that since I’ve been able to step away from my emotions, people express themselves tinting their communication with their own perceptions and often apply it to someone else. That’s a judgement, and when heard by a younger self also added to my low self-worth.
This is not to blame. This is to bring attention to the reason we are in the times that we are. Why is communication so confusing. Healthcare has its own language. The legal system has their own language. Education has their own language. And this is why we’re also confused. As a nurse, I’ve learned that in order for my patient to understand what I’m asking them to do. I need to speak to them like a person. Fancy language does not mean intelligence. It is the way you think that is intelligence.
So I ask that we all stop using words other people don’t understand to make them feel bad, but we use words we all know to communicate what we need and vice versa. We’re all in this together. “Love thy neighbor.” If you have nothing to give but time, that’s a gift. If you have something you don’t need that someone else needs, that also is a gift.
Recently, I’ve been hearing, “that’s just the way it is.” Does it still have to be like that? If AI is replacing us, then why do we need to continue letting things govern us the same way? Why do we have to keep consuming the way they decide to serve us? I’m not saying we need to demand anything, but I am saying that we don’t have to pay attention to them anymore. What is there to fight? We can turn away and build something of our own.
I said something that made so much more sense and it was taught to me by my dad. Money is just a tool. For us in working class we consider that money is wealth. But for people who have wealth, money is a tool, but the people are power. I see that wealthy people are using money as a way to control us. And I’m seeing that they’re paying millions of dollars on our information to influence us to consume to keep us in debt to weigh us down with things because that’s their power. We feed their system. Do we still want what they’re peddling?
I ask you to wake up. Look around you. Is this what you wanted your life to be? I didn’t expect this. I’ve realized that I was looking at what I was losing and that kept me in panic. Recently, I flipped that in my mind and started looking at what I was gaining. My freedom. There’s no price on that.
This is what led me to look at communication . My family think that I’ve gone crazy. Others have probably thought I was talking nonsense. But truly, material, money, status, only have the power we give it. Take your power back. And in my mind that video that went viral for that protest where everyone was dancing and singing and laughing and passing around drinks., that’s what I mean. That’s power. Let’s respond with love. Let’s have a party.
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